my name is mason elaine.
i'm not actually a stoner. but i am really a genius.
i'm really lame.
sorry.
I II III

deersatan:

accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback

image

rrrrosa:

those songs that start in one earbud and flow into the next

image

dan-is-not-on-phire:

WHY THE FUCK DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF I’VE HAD TWO WEEKS TO DO ALL THIS HORSE SHIT HOMEWORK AND I LEAVE IT ALL UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE I GO BACK: an autobiography

thatsmoderatelyraven:

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

is it me or did the dad lose 200 pounds in 5 seconds

nicolasiscaged:

dragons can literally never blow out candles that is so sad

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

“To hate others is ugly.
To hate yourself is uglier.”
- ― Hlovate, Rooftop Rant (via psych-quotes)

aieon:

It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.

truckyousasha:

*aggressively grabs you by the shirt collar* 
BUT DO YOU REMEMBER HOW GOOD SEASON ONE WAS 

*breaks down in tears on your chest*

roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

Phew. No longer a brunette.